Move and Be Moved

John,
I really enjoy your postings, your observations, and your curiosity. I've often wondered what people are feeling and thinking in the dance too. I read this one a few days ago and have been processing it, trying to articulate for myself the emotions I feel when I'm dancing.

Sometimes I have such a range of emotions in the course of a wave that it surprises me -- how I can be angry in chaos and then so joyous in lyrical. There have been times when I didn't realize how much emotional processing I was doing in the other parts of my life until I got on the dance floor and the protective shell I built around me would unexpectedly crack wide open and I find myself crying, without shame. And there have been times when I am dancing and can't help but start laughing, sounds would come out of my belly -- grunts or hoots - as if I can't contain all the joy I feel inside when I'm dancing. And then there are times when I think I'm just not feeling anything emotionally, maybe my brain is in control and my body is absently moving. And there have been times when I felt bored. At first, I wondered about those times -- the times I felt nothing at all or even bored. But I've come to accept that those are also part of the dance and the dance is big enough for all of it. I am curious about other people's experiences, and I love how it is different for each person and for each person it's different every time.

I hope you keep dancing and discover that for yourself. For me, I have found that to be true. Yes, all of the emotions come out in the dance. The emotions are a dance, and fall naturally into our rhythms of humanity.

Just tonight in the dance, I rocked and cried and grieved, and let go. And a spirit dancer held me, and closed the evening with his words, "Yes, I know grief well".