In the Deep Waves class tonight Amara asked us to name the thing we fear most in relationship. Mine was fear of losing myself. Then she asked us to find some personal space in the room and, without music, touch that fear within us and let it express itself through the movement of our bodies. My feet immediately took me away from the people and into a corner. When she asked us to give the feeling more expression I found myself not so much dancing, but pacing back and forth, pacing in the corner like a caged lion. I didn't like it; I wanted to be free.
I thought, what do I do with this fear? Can I just release it and have it be gone? No. Our fears are part of who we are. We don't simply dismiss them and not have to deal with them anymore. We must accept them, welcome them, give them space in our lives. Not to control us, but to teach us. The movement of my body in this dance tonight taught me that I want to be free, that at a deep level I am not content to be put in a corner. I belong out there where everyone can see who I am.
