male muse(s)

Submitted by Jeffrey456 on Thu, 2007-07-05 10:28.

Amidst the wealth of impressions that linger from Amara & Sara Pagano’s remarkable workshop at Breitenbush this past week, I keep coming back to the equally remarkable men I met during my trip … the kind of men that this shame-based sleepwaker has rarely (ever?) met in his life, men who are modelling possibilities that consciously serve the divine feminine - spirit, flow, Gaia - rather than the usual litany of competition, reptillian bullshit and life-denying evil for which my gender carries such an ancient and unspeakably heavy responsibility (and to which it adds more karmic weight with each fresh hell committed in the name of God and "our way").

Okay, sigh, since that last line is so dark, i'll begin with the lightness of being and rooted authenticity of my coming-and-going Olympia host Mark - father, drummer, mountaineer, honorary Parisian and dab hand with an espresso machine.

Then the wise, contained, in-process individuals I met deep in the transformative dance in those enchanted Oregon woods: Duncan, the master photographer who feeds the fire and honours the directions with immense dignity; Ronny, he of the clear strength, one-pointed focus and heart dedicated to love & partnership; John, the Oly father who knows that a Golden Retriever is unconditional love incarnate and that, yes, an arrow is just an arrow; Eugene, the Orange County teacher trainee destined to make such a difference as his future unfolds; meditative, musical, brave John from Portland who understands the power of ‘ohm’ and other core expressions; and Dave, the collegiate wrestler whose world was rocked by the Berkeley free-speech movement in the late '60s and today is dancing into his own incredibly young '60s.

Plus other men met in the dining hall, hot springs & sanctuaries: Michael, the foodservice maestro on the music-festival circuit; Harold, the 20-year BB kitchen boss; photographer Joss, once a 4x per week 5R regular in Portland who joined us during the celebratory community dance; Mike, the math grad specializing in fluid dynamics and sacred geometry now headed east to Penn State; a young BB employee with the improbable but totally apt name Mahatma Wildman, who understands the inchoate power of the full moon in Capricorn as it rose over Mount Jefferson @ 2 a.m. on a blessed (for so many reasons of this Canadian's heart) July 1; the BB security guard who welcomed us back "anytime" to a serene place he refers to as "ma"; Stewart, the Cal State Fullerton prof who slays & rebirths first-year innocents through integrative, humanistic psychology; the nameless coast guard man from Coos Bay emerging from a month hiking in the Utah canyons, agape at the elemental wonder of silence & wind-carved rock; and even young Forrest, aged 6, who chases bumble bees but promised me he wouldn’t harm them. (continues ...)

Returning home, I discovered that my host – the aforementioned Mark – had secreted a scrap of paper in my satchel. His note reads: “This Tang Dynasty poet is one of my favorites. May your path have little wind, and beautiful views. Come again.� And so here, without his permission but knowing he won't mind me taking a liberty, is the poem he gifted me, one by which I’ll remember the conscious choices and conscious paths led by conscious men I respect and honour.

Climbing Up the Cold Mountain

Clambering up the Cold Mountain path,
The Cold Mountain trail goes on and on:
The long gorge choked with scree and boulders.
The wide creek, the mist-blurred grass.
The moss is slippery, though there’s been no rain
The pine sings, but there’s no wind.
Who can leap the world’s ties
And sit with me among the white clouds?

- Han Shan

Jeffrey456 Says:
Sat, 2007-07-14 12:41

Tru and Duncan, thank you for your words ... a mirror into which i could happily stare for hours, but instead i'll treat them as fuel & affirmation for the next adventure, the next blessed time we can show up on the floor and tell our truths in the fires of the moment.

After honouring the men at such length, I can but add a word or two about the XX-chromosomed warriors that week. I could cite all by name, but i'll focus quickly on Helen, who as you both know sent an email this week to the BB alumni that was a poignant reminder of the great spirit raised over those five days. I recall in particular a stillness exercise on bonfire Saturday in which we moved slowly in lines across the floor, each of us modelling our own version of inner strength in service to the heart. I remember Helen in particular - moving with utmost ease and dignity, shifting from one almost martial-arts posture to the next - gentle and nurturing, yet also fierce and rooted deep in her power. Perhaps even the incarnation of the Hawaiian deity Pele -- Ka wahine, creator and destroyer, goddess of fire, lightening, dance and volcanoes.

And the sense was that she was doing this in service to something so much larger than herself - honouring sky and earth in equal measure, mindfully and with dedication. And that was what I found again and again with the women i met on the floor and off - such wisdom and experience, such rich journeys that had taken them to that point of time, such nurturing, support, heart and strength ... epitomes of the peaceful warrior and the reason this man will bow down and dedicate the remainder of his short life to Pele and her kind.

No Kahiki mai ka wahine `o Pele,
Mai ka `aina mai o Polapola,
Mai ka punohu a Kane,
Mai ke ao lapa i ka lani.

DuncanDancer Says:
Fri, 2007-07-13 15:31

Yes Jeff, as Trudes says: You! Thank you for showing up, for looking me in the eye, for seeing me, hearing me, trusting me and the rest of the tribe, for all the dances in all their rhythms, for the peaceful warrior spirit in you, and for that pacing, searching, revealing, aching, honest,
falling-to-your-knees moment around the sacred fire. I am moved and inspired by you, and so glad to know you.
Duncan

Tango Says:
Thu, 2007-07-05 15:37

And you. You, Jeff, the man who walked courageously arond that bonfire and then fell to his knees -- opening and allowing. What a beautiful man you are. Humble and honoring those male muses and in doing so, honoring all parts of you. All of us. Thank you for being there Jeff, present and available and open. Tru

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